Not to sound like my head is the size of a hot air balloon, but since I started this whole yacht nannying thing people have told me all the time how cool my job sounds and how awesome it must be. Let’s dissect that for a moment: Traveling around the world? Cool. Doing it on a luxury yacht? Also pretty cool. Being responsible for the life and all around well being of a 17 month old rascal? Hard work. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. In fact, taking this job was probably THE best decision I’ve ever made. But is it “awesome” 24/7? Nope. It suits me in particular, but for all those who have said they “want” my job, I have decided to run down the nitty gritty of what all those fantasizers are actually envious of:
Do you enjoy being pooped/peed/puked on?
Do you find pleasure in being kicked/scratched/bitten?
Do you revel in ‘donating’ chunks of hair to the hands of angry children?
Does the idea of sitting down and enjoying a meal repulse you?
Does lifting around a heavy mass of squirming flesh for hours on end sound like your idea of a great day?
Do you despise the quiet?
Is your nose immune to the smell of sour formula/milk?
Would you enjoy playing a constant game of cat and mouse chase?
Are you able to mimic the sound of any and all forms of transportation? (cars, planes, trains, helicopters, etc.) Animals? Dinosaurs?
Do Thomas the Tank Engine, Barney, and other cartoons fulfill your cinematic viewing needs?
Do you hate to sit still?
(my personal favorite) Does the idea of thrusting your nose up to another human’s butt to smell for foul odors not phase you in the slightest?
If you answered ‘yes’ to more than 80% of these, congratulations- you’d make a great nanny! (Sorry, I thought this was a Cosmo quiz for a second there)
At the end of the day, I love my job; it’s so rewarding in numerous ways, and hey, I’m pretty sure if I get knocked up I’m overqualified for the task! (knock on wood) Plus, the other day E finally signed “more” back to me for another bite of toast. Yes, I’m an awesome nanny who teaches baby sign language and it was a small triumph.
And after all the crap he puts me through on a daily basis, I’d still take it tenfold in exchange for one of his smiles.
*By the way, what does a dinosaur sound like??