The Crazy Side of Yachting: The Serial Pooper

We just received word on when our owners are coming onboard for their first official trip on the boat and it got me to thinking about all the crazy stories I’ve been told about the yachting industry and it’s eccentric crowd.  Plus let’s be honest, you all want to hear stories about the rich and famous and their lives onboard massive floating palaces.

Some of the best and most hideous stories were told to me by my instructor during my Stewardess course while I was finishing my yachting certifications; this is one of the most memorable.

Without further adieu, 

The Serial Pooper

My lovely instructor had worked for a number of years in the yachting industry and one of the yachts she was a stewardess on had an owner who often brought a group of his friends onboard.  Comprised of all middle aged men, the trips were what one expected they might be; a bunch of family men away from home for a little luxury R&R boy’s getaway.

However, whilst cleaning one of the guest’s showers, my instructor lifted the drain only to find a pile of poop.  

There is no way to accidentally poop inside a shower drain.  It’s just not possible.  One of these middle aged men had literally pried the shower drain open and then strategically placed his derriere over it with such accuracy and precision, in order to leave a turd, and along with it, any shred of decency he had within him.

The thing is, my instructor knew which guest it was, and had to smile and act as if nothing had happened.  Can you imagine?!

This wasn’t an isolated incident however.  Over the course of a few seasons, the guest (a good friend of the owner) had been onboard multiple times, each time leaving his stinky deposit for her, or whichever poor stewardess was assigned to his room, the unfortunate task of cleaning it up and pretending it didn’t happen.

Go ahead and imagine how you would even attempt to clean that mess, because I can’t.

Aint-Nobody-Got-Time

Eventually, all the crew onboard secretly knew of his filthy habit and even had a clever poop-related nickname for him.  The owner, I’m told, was a decent and respectable man to work for and I know my instructor had debated revealing to him this repeated offense by his friend, but unfortunately I can’t remember what came of it.

Whatever the case, this guy took advantage of the hired help in a most appalling way.  And that’s pretty shitty.

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4 responses to “The Crazy Side of Yachting: The Serial Pooper

  1. Well that’s a tender morsel of scatological lore I won’t soon forget! Thanks for this (I think). ILY

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